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Tufty Club
7" Single
Crackle! Records - VYM 026
Release Date:

1000 copies pressed on black vinyl


For Idiots - 2:41

Another week, a new incumbent king
All pay homage to the next big thing
I sense the writing's on the wall
Full of messages that I ignore
I've read them all a hundred times before
It's strange how soon they pall

Then no-one'll like you anyway
Not once you've learned to play
The cluster that have found you
Evaporate away
Soon they'll reassemble
To start anew again

It's a forum for idiots
I can't take you serious(ly)
Write what you want, it doesn't bother me
You're much too vociferous
In all your opinions
Fawn all you like but just don't covet me

New talent is soon painted thin
As stale as something that the cat dragged in
And stowed away some weeks ago
Public property?, well that's their choice
Empty vessels make the loudest noise
And never show which way they blow

Point the way and I'll rescind
From all your bickering
Like ill-intentioned vultures
You circle and attack
If I was paying to read this
I'd want my money back.

The Only Thing I Like About You Is Your Girlfriend - 2:22

I used to think if I was you

Life couldn't get much better

Unless of course if I was Bart

Then I'd say 'Oh Man', 'No Way', 'Cool', and I'd be yellow

My adventures would be smart


But you and I are older now

I saw through you, someday, somehow

You've no good traits to commend

The only thing I like about you is your girlfriend


Loud and brash, lots of cash

Did nothing for your manners

What did she ever see in you?

Except your cars and new guitars

And several million dollars

I guess they're a pretty good excuse


Guile and charm can't hide your faults

Trapped behind your cardboard walls

They'll blow down in the end

The only thing I like about you is your girlfriend


Here's not like Hollywood where all the dreams are false

And the folk who have most money call the tune

I'll choose my solitude, and you can pay for yours

How I'd love to get myself locked in a room

With you, and no way out

Then all your wealth would count for nowt

I'd be strong, you'd be spent

The only thing I like about you is your girlfriend

The only thing I like about you is that girl.

Surf's Out - 1:59

Posing on the beachfront with their surfboards in their hands

The bronzed Adonis'of the sands

I'm surrounded by Barbies, but I'll never be Ken

I won't be appearing in their plans


With spare clothes in my case

I'm so out of place

Got sand kicked in my face again

I'll never be cool

I'll stick to the rock pools

Until they head back to their vans


I couldn't feel more outcast if I'd travelled here from Mars

Hard as I try I'm still ignored

Drinking foreign bottled beer and hanging out in bars

I'm isolated from their sport


Alone miles from the beach

Salvation out of reach

Quite helpless bobbing up and down

No cards left to play

While I get washed away

Stranded as the tide goes out


Used my innovation , tried all permutations

But you didn't care at all

So like your colouration you were imitation

You just didn't care at all

Tired Of Being Ugly - 2:56

Here I sit, the journey done

It seems as if my race is run

Pushed too hard, and came so near

Then she turned and disappeared


I've had my nose rubbed in the dirt

Now I'm tired of being hurt

Burnt my fingers over her


All those nights I got no sleep

She just flattered to deceive

I kid myself that she once cared

Now they sound like hollow words to me


To me the spoils aren't shared

I'm crestfallen, in despair

Lost all hope in front of her


It's time to walk away from here

From a pointless wasted year


I think of all the weeks I spent

To take her everywhere she went

I'd go miles out of my way

She threw it all back in my face


Of all the fools well I'm the worst

End up tired and getting hurt

And feeling stupid over her


It's a long drive home

One I'll steer alone.