I’ve no legs to stand on

so I’d best hold my hands up

I’m rich in possessions

but I’m technically bankrupt

Sat in the darkness stealing light from a candle

Rueing the money I’ve held & mishandled

It’s a scandal. How am I to cope

If I add up all that I’m worth

In terms of vinyl & torn T-shirts

I’m as rich as an high street girl

In my world

I’m the object of workmen’s mirth

The last luddite left on this earth

I’ve no idea what makes things work

In my world

She’s a delicate flower

Keeps her ears to the ground

Reacts to my commands with a quizzical frown

Tips her head to one side

As though she’s feigning suprise

And guides me with her eyes to what she desires

It’s usually chocolates or some such I’ve failed to hide

As soon as my backs turned she’ll be drinking from my mug

& owns a vocal range that leaves us all agog

I’ve learned all my mannerisms from my dog

I’ll swear she can tell the time

Together we’ve walked some miles

bla bla I’m still suprised how she knows it’s time to go

She’s no young pup, shes got worn out knees

Her ears have seized up, her God is Cadburys

She’s scared of postmen, our two tone punk dog

She ate our sofa, then brought the lumps up

There’ll only ever be one Chops

Met you on a summers night

I offered you a scooter ride

You laughed and groaned at my jokes

I poked fun at how you spoke

We got on like a house on fire

Except neither of us smoked

Now you’re my weakness

There’s half a world between us

Like a moon that orbits Venus

Or should that be Mars?

I need us to be as we are

We’ve got lots in common, like

You’ve a star sign, so have I

It was different in the water, though

I just sank, you stayed afloat

It’s a good job there was someone there

To throw me in a boat

Long days, short nights, great times

You’re the one thing that I’ve got

And you’re all I want.

Running out of steam again

Where did I go wrong this time?

Too principled for mass appeal

Uncompromising, asinine

You fight each other, I’ll retain my dignity

Here in the gutter, we’re no part of this industry

For some band so obscure we’re rather smart

Forging a career out of bit parts

While many lesser lights succeed

I’m here writing history

For all the good that it does me

There might just as well as be

Pinned to my bottom a big sign saying notice me

I feel forgotten, at the higher apsis of the scene

If fame becomes the crux on which you smart

We won’t be the ones to break your heart

We’re too friendly, too thoughtful

We get pushed into a corner

We’re not faceless or mournful

Don’t act like we oughtta

And we won’t be recording or dancing with Madonna

Don’t rub shoulders with the stars cos we’re no-one

Along with Funbug, and Chopper, and Croc.God

We’re just the writers of the bestest punk rock songs

And you won’t miss what you’ve got until we’re gone

I’ve seen most (of) my friends succeed, I’m still waiting

Although I’ve shared in their ordeal it can’t assuage me

Living this dream by putting it first

And making it last for all I’m worth

I’ve tried my hardest to be brave

But sometimes these days It’s trickling away

She knows more than I’ve forgot, my heads fallow

She is everything I’m not. I am shallow

She’s one of the things that I haven’t got

But how do I say it’s you I want

The times I’ve come so far but failed

Spending my days finding new ways

To forge out a place, one I won’t waste

more to my taste

Making a space all of my own

Where I belong

Finding new ways

To forge out a place, one I won’t waste, more to my taste

Making a space all of my own

Where I belong

How can I tell Laura D. who studies biochemistry

That someone in molecular genetics really fancies her

It’s all a question of degree

And there’s a science block between

Her and I

Where to start?

With a smile or with a card?

I can’t vent my spleen

Until I’ve learned what that means

I don’t write poetry and what I say is usually best left unsaid

My words get jumbled up and come out wrong or slurred

So I’ve got no easy answers in my head

Wish I’d done literature instead

But if I break things down

To the nth, be protean

Then I’d change more to her taste

Be her friend

I’ve kept the same hopes and ideals

Since I was sixteen and that’s almost 20 years

Can’t see a time when I won’t be

As young as the girls I feel

Invincible, a man of steel

For I still feel the same

The years don’t seem to age me or change me

As my gran used to say

I’m a modern day equivalent of Doreen Grey

I can’t see why age is so revered

I’m pointing backwards, I get more youthful every year

At this rate soon I’ll disappear

Back to where I first came from

Through the time continuum

My portrait is safe, put away

It’s growing much older apace

If this is my secret it’s a price that I’m willing to pay

Don’t fade away

Life is fraught with pitfalls in this small industrial town

The neighbours are all inbred and machismo rules their souls

The lack of trees is sinister and I don’t want to be here

Why can’t someone wave a wand and make me disappear

It’s ugly and bleak, and full of factories

Let me out please, I don’t belong here

I’m giving my birthright away

Finding a much nicer place

Even the postcards are grey from here

It’s too far gone now